Sunday, March 8, 2009

When Evil Hurts

Been awhile. Did you ever feel overwhelmed with negativity, allowing it to permeate every thought and deed? Well good people, I'm in that zone, thanks to my fear and loathing in the northeast corridor. (h/t to Hunter Thompson.) Though I've been on facebook, continuing to rail against the swift demise of the beloved U.S.A. due to Hussein and his henchmen, even amongst my friends there with like mindset, I'm feeling despair. As so many of us did, I put my very hard earned bucks and time into a woman who moved me like no other political force before. Currently, and the jury is still deliberating, I am disheartened with her stance on issues that affect me deeply ( Middle East) and I am not ready to give her a pass to the next round.
I have no yearning for notoriety nor blog awards, and never started this journey with accolades in mind. I can't say the same for one or two other PUMAs who remind me of Hussein with their narcissistic behavior stemming from their desire to be worshiped.
This has always been about righting the wrong, and when that failed, informing the uninformed.
After some serious contemplation, rather than look for news to break or repeat the same tired mantra over and over ( sorry bloggers, h/t's without asking permission is tantamount to you needing a topic, nothing more), I'm taking a break from anger. I will still be devouring and absorbing our collective hell, but I will be one less person repeating what we are all saying...for now. My mood, plainly, sucks, and a good measure of it is attributable to the helplessness and despair I feel watching world events unfold. I will return hopefully, possibly soon, but it won't be to glorify our Secty of State. She'd have to backtrack ten-fold in order for me to stop regretting my devotion to her.

When your idol falters, your core being comes into question. That's where I am now.

Side note: Au Terrific, I owe you an answer, and I'm going to deliver on that. Thanks for your patience.

To the rest of the REAL Pumas who have done this without the need for a fan group or Huffington Post nod, I really love you. You are the groundswell that created us. We are still here, and every one of us makes a difference.


Logistics Monster said...

Petunia! :::::tigger romp and hugs::::::

Keep your chin up - what will I do without your amazing perspective? I know how you feel - I went thru the same heartbreak months and months ago. Sucks to find out that people that we think are really "different" from the rest of the power grid have just been better at hiding their true will come back - you need to believe in "us" - not them...and guess what? There are more of us!!! LOL

Write me if you need more tigger bounce!!!


petunia politik said...

monster mama,

you probably know by now of my unwavering worship of you. you're fearless and unrelenting, as well as supremely eloquent. if you had a magic mirror you'd see me bowing to you.
thank you for your support and rallying cry. it helps to know that i'm not alone in my despondency over "her" and just about everyone else.

don't be surprised if your inbox includes a shout from me, if only for inspiration!
see you soon, lovely one.


navyvet48 said...

My dear friend,we fought several fights together with out knowing it. It was a godsend to know that when I feel down....your view on life is one I truly admire. I know how you feel. I went through the same thing myself....even thinking I was a fool for going to 4 states for that lady, one who disappoints me now.

Please reach deep in your soul and find the good things about you and celebrate them each and every day as if it is your birthday....I know you never did this for adoration or adulation, you wrote this blog because it is the right thing to do.

You always have my ear....write me when you can.

And finally go out to the quietest place you know and scream, like you never screamed before. Stimulate the economy ... go out and buy some cheap plates from a thrift store and throw them until they are nothing but shards...and enjoy every minute of it. I guess I am saying do something that is carthartic ...

Smile always in the face of adversity...

petunia politik said...

My Navy Girl,

What an honor to be a part of your world. You and I have shared some opinions that are probably not very popular amongst the puma contingency, but our country's safety is paramount and I still feel sure that being "right" on this topic outweighs the need to fit in.
When I thought I was alone, there you were, and your devotion to all that is decent is to be admired.
One week before HRC took the oath as SoS, I was able to look her in the eye, crying like a baby, and implore her to stick to her campaign convictions. I told her flat out that I was a Puma (asking her to understand why we do what we do) and that we are all in this for the right reasons. I then told her my 9/11 story, and as I cried, she hugged me. I was feeling brazen and expressed my fear of having "that one" running the ship, but also told her that my trepidation could possibly be lessened with her so close to the helm. What was I thinking.
I will not lose all hope in her, though she's teeter tottering on the brink.
Thank you for your encouragement, and screaming just might be in order. It's surely safer than the rising blood pressure and ulcer.

Got some thinking to do, and I will be in touch with you. Just a respite to regain some sanity, as if I ever had any:)


Shtuey said...

Ah, my Countess...yes it is disappointing, but then we knew this was likely when she jumped on board the Pampers train. I held out hope that she would do things differently, but that flickering candle is suffocating fast.

On a brighter note, there's a new blog in town that navy, diamond, myself, and others you know have put together. The scoop is up on my blog. You should join us when you're ready. Give the word and you're in there like swimwear.

Be of good cheer. We've still got plenty of fight in us!

petunia politik said...

Give the word and you're in there like swimwear.

If anyone could make me laugh, it's you, Shtuey! It's hard to express disgust with her in public and so incredibly helpful to see you and the others are of the same mindset. When we started JSND, we were convinced, absolutely positive, that we would stop the trainwreck. Every thing since has just been an exercise in futility.
I believe that lots of us think of you as our scarecrow to our Dorothy's...albeit you have an amazing brain. But what you have that stands out brightly, is a heart of gold.
The invitation is appreciated, a lot.
Will always continue to learn from you, oh wise one.


12tequilas said...

Hey, I get this too. It really is hard not to lose hope. Frankly I think it's a good idea to use whatever works to forget for a while (not alcohol, I mean like go get a facial or something!). Then you may find you can get back to it. (I'm lucky enough to be *very* distracted by the two little boys, who only worry when their teddy bears or video games go missing.)

Shtuey said...

Thank you Countess. You're a gem. Scarecrow to your Dorothy. I can hang with that. After all, it turned out he had a brain, and Dorothy had the power to get home all along.

We'll get there together.

12tequilas said...

What am I talking about? It's Purim. Go for the alcohol ;)